


Its The Climb

by Seakays



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Honeymooners, Humour, No angst to be seen anywhere, Rated R because Draco has a potty mouth, dramione valentine exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:27:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29137806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seakays/pseuds/Seakays
Summary: Hermione and Draco.On Their Honeymoon.In Magical Maui.My prompt was  "I'm never letting you talk me into this again."
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 13
Kudos: 36
Collections: Dramione Valentine Exchange





	Its The Climb

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nztina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nztina/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [DramioneValentineExchange](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/DramioneValentineExchange) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Comedy - “I’m never letting you talk me into this again.”  
> I hope you enjoy my silly take on your prompt.
> 
> Kudos upon kudos to my lovely alpha/beta RdLentz8 who is spectacular and kind and amazing.
> 
> All characters, plots, dialogue relating to the Harry Potter Franchise is the sole property of JK. Rowling. I am making no profit of this work.

Draco Malfoy was not a morning person. Especially on the weekends.

In fact, he was barely a noon person.

In his vastly superior opinion, the old adage of “the early bird catches the worm” was not only revolting but way more anthropomorphic than he was willing to deal with.

The fact that he was up before the crack of dawn to hike up a fucking volcano to see the god-damned sunrise ten thousand fucking feet above sea level said everything anyone ever needed to know about how utterly besotted he was with the gorgeous witch holding his hand.

His _wife._ Hermione _Malfoy_. His fucking _wife_. It had been an entire week since their wedding, and he still had trouble wrapping his mind around the fact. Just like the simple platinum band on his finger, having Hermione Granger…. _Malfoy_ …as his wife would take some getting used to.

Their honeymoon in magical Maui had been perfection. Sun, sand, surf, and sex. Lots and lots and lots of sex. Which was part of the reason why they were doing this hike. They had discovered that one of the side effects of having sex multiple times a day in Hawaii with all that sand had left them both just a little _sore,_ and more than a little _chafed._ Even Hermione’s best charms didn’t completely relieve the discomfort. 

So, his _wife_ had made arrangements for them to go on an “outing.”

On Valentine’s Day.

On a Saturday.

In Muggle Maui.

She had been ridiculously excited when he had returned from the gym two nights ago, sitting naked on their hotel bed amongst literally dozens of pamphlets all shouting about the best excursions on the island.

Draco had _tried_ to listen to what she had to say. He really had.

He had heard words like volcano and Road to Hana, he really did.

But his _wife_ was NAKED.

On their bed. NAKED.

So, he had grabbed the first pamphlet he saw, agreed to something about volcanos and sunrise, picked her up, and took her to the shower. 

From there, Hermione had planned everything. She ensured they had the best hiking attire. She carried the red, heart-shaped basket filled with orange juice, champagne, and various pastries they would indulge in as they watched the sunrise. She had even woken him up bent down under their covers, which was stupendous, although a bit gentler than normal because … _chafing._

But none of that negated the fact that it was three-thirty in the morning.

On Valentine’s Day. On a Saturday. On their honeymoon.

He had grumped all the way from the Portkey at the hotel, to the base of the Haleakala crater. He had groused as they crossed to the Muggle side and had continued to sigh dramatically when Hermione had waved away the bus, insisting they could hike to the top of the volcano with the guide.

He would have grudgingly admitted that the view was spectacular from the top of the crater, but his feet hurt, his thighs felt ruined, and his cursed arse throbbed. Still, he couldn’t help but admire just how damned pretty his _wife_ was in her black leggings, oversized Roots hoody, and baseball cap. She was lovelier than any sunrise at six am could ever be. 

Thankful for the champagne, intentionally forgetting the orange juice, Draco clinked glasses with his smiling bride.

“You know, I’m never letting you talk me into this again.” Hermione just smirked back at him, while he wondered just exactly when she had picked up that particular trademark of his. 

“I’ll take that bet.” Leaning in close, rubbing noses, she continued. “Come on now, it’s not all bad, is it _husband_?”

“Only if we get to take that Muggle bus back down to the Portkey area, then maybe it will be salvageable.” Draco smiled at her, taking any sting out of his words.

Just as she was about to respond, Hermione’s cell phone buzzed, leaving Draco to wonder what poor unfortunate soul was also up so early, on a Saturday. Whoever it was, they must have said something indecent for his _wife_ to get that rather sinful, sexy smile on her face. 

_Who is the ever-loving gobstain that is making her smile like that when it is decidedly not me?_

Before he could say anything, Hermione grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. “Relax, it’s just Pansy and Harry.”

Draco continued to scowl.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Draco. They just let me know they spelled something to us that’s waiting at the hotel.”

The scowl lessened and his eyebrows quirked.

“They sent us that _cream_ Pansy told us about.” At Draco’s continued look of confusion, Hermione waggled her own eyebrows, and whispered, “you know…. the _coitus_ cream… the one I forgot… takes away the _chafing_.”

Linking his wife’s hand in his arm, Draco barreled his way to the front of the bus, almost tackling the driver.

“Good sir, my wife and I need to leave right now. We’ll pay a ridiculous sum of your money if you would drive us as quickly as you can to the bottom of this godforsaken crater.”

As Hermione playfully swatted her husband, and the two remained entwined together for the entire ride down the volcano. Herb, the elderly bus driver quietly shook his head.

_Happens every bloody year._

_Newlyweds._

_On Valentine’s Day._

_Makes them bloody frisky._

As Herb thought of his own sweet Gladys, he was relieved he had already gotten her the beautiful plumerias the day before. This was going to be a long day.


End file.
